On Turning 40…Please Advise

My birthday has always been one of my favourite days of the year. Ok. It is my favourite day of the year. Or at least, it was. This year I will be saying goodbye to my thirties. You know, the decade we lump together with the twenties. That was really great. Sigh. I know this is all about perspective and everyone over 40 reading this is rolling their eyes at me. But I am not 50 thinking 40 is young. I’m 39 damn it. And this is hard.

Just 4 - no zero

I have always loved my birthday because, well, I love being special. It’s likely a by-product of me being a first born - you know, thinking I’m special all the time. I also love getting presents. There’s no point to censoring myself at this point - I’m turning 40 - I can say whatever I want now, right? My birthday parties have never been particularly lavish but they have always been great. Well, except maybe my 30th birthday when Eric threw me a family pot-luck in our backyard. That was only ok.

I also love planning and throwing parties and Eric and I have become quite good at it. I have learned - finally - that the key to being a good host is drinking. I am the much nicer, more relaxed version of myself with a couple of one ounce Cosmos in me (I feel I've mentioned this before). I therefore assumed that I would want a big party for my fortieth. But the closer it gets I am not so sure and I don’t know why. I think I would want a hand in planning it and that seems, well, wrong. But is it? I feel like I don’t actually want the attention for this particular birthday. I also sometimes feel like big parties are actually quite impersonal and maybe the introvert in me wants a little more one-one-one time with my close friends for this one. 

Oh, 40. My magic number is 27. That’s the age my mind tells me I am. Maybe it’s because that’s the year I had my first child. ‘Life’ was still fully ahead of me. For so much of our lives we don’t think about the passing of time.  We just live. Then there is a shift and all of sudden we become acutely aware that time is finite. And I’ve always had a thing with ‘the end’. Somewhere on this laptop is a dusty blog about the obituary I want written and the vision I have of my own funeral. (I’ll post it, but only with some begging.)

So to mark the occasion of turning 40, I want your opinion. And I know many of you are also turning 40 this year. Go 1976! I’ll likely just do what I want anyway but I’m hoping something someone says will resonate with me.  What do you think about celebrating a fortieth? What would you want? What did you do? What would you have done differently? Milestone birthdays are quite personal and I know there will be quite a range of responses. I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts in the comment section below.