Driving yesterday I found myself lost in Adele’s Someone Like You. Listening to the lyrics, I remembered a time in my life when these words would have really meant something and God, I don’t miss those days. Love Hurts isn’t just a song. It’s reality that many of us lived starting in our teens and only presumably ending when we finally found ‘the one’.
I hadn’t taken a trip down this memory lane in a long time. Who would want to? All the highs and lows of our first loves and the agony of the breakups, it’s painful just to think about. Playing that song (you know the one) over and over again until you were one with the words. Because, if you could just sing it to them then they would finally know and understand your pain.
I connected with this song in a different way than I would have fifteen years ago. I was actually thinking about my daughters - that the treacherous journey of unrequited love still lay ahead for them. I can protect my girls from so many things, but this I can never save them from. I weep at the thought of their fragile hearts having to endure all of the heartbreak and pain. But, in the same breath I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, ok, there are some things (ok, ok, a lot of things) that if I could I would go back and erase but, for the most part, I’d live it all over. I’d live it all over because somehow in some way it got me into the arms of my husband.
A good love song doesn’t cut like a knife or offer me some form of therapy anymore. It’s just a moving song that sings about a part of my life I left behind a long time ago. But somewhere, under a heap of damp tissues and duvets, some poor wretch is singing her heart out to Someone Like You with Adele with her shattered heart strewn about the room. I wish I could give her a hug and tell her everything will be ok, just like I wish I could go back and give myself a hug and share the same wisdom.
I can’t spare my precious daughters their own journeys through the euphoria and devastation of love and I guess I shouldn’t want to. Part of our human experience is to endure the highs and the lows and to learn to grow from it all. And sometimes, it a crazy way, in feels good to hurt to know that you’re truly alive.
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